Summary
Overview
Work History
Education
Skills
Timeline
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Christian Russell

Bundaberg,QLD

Summary

Hardworking and passionate job seeker, as long as there are batteries, a controller, and junk food. Can be found Down Town GTA'sville, building cages and blasting friends in the knee caps on fortnite, or pumping people full of lead, in Call Of Duty. Plays basket ball games, but is prone to tripping over his own feet. Often.

Overview

4
4
years of professional experience

Work History

Anything for Money.

Whoever. Not Fussy. Just Want Cash. I Like Cash.
01.2023 - 12.2023
  • Emptied mower baskets without emptying them.. Pretended to empty mower baskets. Looked at, then pretended to empty mower baskets.
  • Improved lawn health by not stomping on it, not peeing on it, not shitting on it, not pouring brake fluid on it, and not doing other stuff on it. I improved the lawns health by letting it live.
  • Maintained clean workspaces by not doing anything too drastic to dirty them. Pretending to empty mower baskets is a good example. If it's not fucking broke, leave it, innit.

Dog Walker

01.2022 - 12.2023
  • I threw live chickens over the fence for exercise and food once a week. I tied house owner's heaviest plant pot to the end of a hose, and dropped it into the pool. I then left a note on the tap. 'Leave water on full.' Signed the dog carer.
  • Led dogs away from other dogs, and introduced them to cats. Always funny. Not too bothered about deep scratches as they are on the dogs. Not on me. Those cats are tough. I know the dogs are looking forward to the same feline action tomorrow.
  • Didn't really follow any particular schedule the owner suggested. I am very spontaneous as the mongrels found out. When I peed in the pool, the dogs did too. I laughed and they barked. We had a moment I'll never forget. I did not shit in the pool. It was one of the mongrels. Let's be crystal on that one.
  • Any trust the dogs had in Humans was gone by the end of the week. They became aggressive, annoying, destructive to the owner's property, and extremely disrespectful to the pool.

House Cleaner

01.2020 - 12.2023
  • Pretended to clean rugs by leaving vacuum on for 20 minute stints. Didn't clean a thing, but didn't get anything dirty either, so win win.
  • I pretended to create spotless surfaces by saying abracadabra and waving an imaginary wand around. It was an easy bluff job. Money for fuck all. I am hoping for recommendations to owner's friends and stuff. I am not totally off of dogs, because I understand that they can be glitchy. Am happy for another try, as long as there is a pool to quench the mongrel's thirst.

Education

Couch. Feet Up. Leave Me Alone.

Bundaberg State High School
Bundaberg, QLD

Skills

  • No work ethic to talk about
  • Irresponsible You'd be crazy to pay me in advance
  • Flexible and Adaptable as long as shit suits me
  • Physically Fit so don't try chase me down when I steal your shit

Timeline

Anything for Money.

Whoever. Not Fussy. Just Want Cash. I Like Cash.
01.2023 - 12.2023

Dog Walker

01.2022 - 12.2023

House Cleaner

01.2020 - 12.2023

Couch. Feet Up. Leave Me Alone.

Bundaberg State High School

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Christian Russell